Well, I Asked for It

I finally got a call about my ad in the Reader. He was a complete psycho.

He chattered at me for twenty minutes about what he thinks about one-year leases and living with "young people" and how downstate they don't have long leases and how hard it would be for him to find a subleasor if he decided he wanted to move out before the end of the year and how he doesn't want to live on the south side because he values his life and how he's got all these women who want him to move in with them and how he thinks credit checks are unfair because what if you have a few "boo-boos" and how he doesn't know what would happen if he lost his job and had to leave the city to avoid being sued and...

And when he paused to take a breath, I said "I guess I'll keep looking" and hung up on him.

At Least We Won't Be Surprised

This Miami Herald article says that only 33 of 67 Florida counties have bothered to verify that people dropped from the voting rolls after being identified as felons really deserved to be dropped. I don't think felons deserve to lose their right to vote—it continues to punish someone who has already paid his or her debt to society—but that's irrelevant here. As we all know, thousands of voters were illegally dropped from the voter rolls before the 2000 election because their names were erroneously on lists of felons; almost 700 of them have been reinstated so far. Now, six months before the presidential election, over half of the counties in question—including some of the most populous counties in the state—have failed to check their lists. In addition, counties are being asked to examine another list of 47,000 voters identified as "possible felons." Any guesses about which task they'll complete first?

The Apartment Saga Continues

Today is Flitting Day, the day when Scottish families traditionally moved from one house to another, usually for a period of one year. It is fitting that today I realized that I am almost definitely going to have to move yet again come August. I didn't get a single call in response to the ad I put in the Chicago Reader. I've had no luck finding a new roomie through the roommate-finding service I used to find Han and The Doug. Han tells me that he is probably moving in with a friend. I am utterly defeated.

Do I move in with someone who has a room available, becoming a resented interloper hiding in my room all the time because the common areas have already been claimed? Do I try living on my own once again, in the hopes that my miserable experience that ended a year ago was a fluke? Do I give up and live under a highway overpass? I welcome any advice.

More Crazy Train People

Today's Crazy Train Person was a 50-something black man in a heavy leather jacket. He stood in the aisle a row ahead of me, arm extended, staring at his wrist where one might wear a watch, although his wrist was bare. He mumbled softly, his lips moving rhythmically, and I could hear snippets of what sounded like "mimimimimimimimimi." At regular intervals, he unleashed coughs of epic volume, coughs that shook my copy of White Teeth and sent spittle flying. Then he went back to studying his wrist and murmuring. After the second cough, the people in the seats below him moved to other parts of the car, but he didn't sit down. He stood there, studying and chanting and coughing on some cue that only he could understand.

Wow. Pictures.

http://www.soosed.com/lj/

This site displays the last 30 images uploaded to LiveJournal blogs. There are well over a million active LiveJournal users. There are 15,000 posts per hour and 250 posts per minute. I don't know the stats on how many images are uploaded, but reloading this page after even a minute will get you 30 brand-new images.

It's both an incredible time-waster and an interesting found-art project. Something about the pictures, devoid of any context, makes them fascinating. Clicking on the images will take you to the blog that gave birth to them, but after a few times, I got bored with the minutia of people's lives. I just like the pictures. Be careful, though, especially if you work in a cubicle hell: once in a while a not-safe-for-work image will pop up.

Fucking Landlords

I didn't want to move again this year. I broke my poor roommate's heart when I told him that I was going to stay in our current apartment (he said, "oh, ok"). Sure, the landlords never call you back, and sure, the repair guy never comes. But I just don't want to move, and I can't really afford to move. I don't want to make my friends help me move again, and I can't afford to hire movers.

Well, it turns out that my goddamned motherfucking evil cocksucking miserly officious asshole landlords might force me to move anyway. I called them when I received my lease renewal form to find out what I should do about the fact that I don't know who my roommate will be yet. Two days later, they called me back to say that if I didn't have a new roommate picked out in two weeks, they are going to force me to apply for my own apartment by myself, and if I don't pass their financial and credit checks, I will have to move out. They refuse to let me wait a while until I find a new roommate. It seemed amazing to them that I would ask for a few more weeks to find someone. Despite the fact that the lease isn't up until the end of July, they want to know now now NOW!

If I do pass their rigorous tests, I can sign the lease by myself, and when I find someone, they will have him or her sign on as a roommate, but he or she won't be on the actual lease. Meaning, if he or she decides to bail out without notice or stops paying rent, I would be screwed.

If I end up having to move, I'm going to make a big sign to hang on the wall for when they bring in people to show the apartment. The sign is going to detail all the problems we've had with the landlords, as well as my phone number and email address, so prospective tenants can call me for the whole story on the apartment. I'll head it with "DO NOT RENT THIS PLACE" in letters a foot high.

On the Train Today

Five people reading The Da Vinci Code. All in the same car. I'm torn. Part of me wants to yell out the ending. Part of me wants to run through the car, grabbing them all before jumping out the doors just before they close, the hapless readers' faces filled with shock and dismay that I have interrupted yet another two-page cliffhanger chapter.

Two people from my former place of employment. One of them looked at me as she might a cockroach. The other gave me that sheepish yes, I recognize you, but please don't talk to me smile-and-drop-the-head. There's nothing that can spoil my mood like seeing someone from there. It brings back all the embarrassment and anger and helplessness I felt on my last day.

And one guy listening to loud, bad rap music on a portable tape recorder. Not a walkman, not a radio, not a big silver boombox. A tape recorder, like I used to sell at Radio Shack to college students with oral history assignments. On the buses and trains, they warn you that "smoking, littering, and playing radios or loud devices is prohibited." This is the first time I've encountered a loud device that didn't double as a cell phone. It sounded terrible, all tinny and flat, like listening to top 40 on an answering machine. Thankfully, he got off after two or three stops.

More Big Brother...?

Apparently KBR, a subsidiary of Dick Cheney's favorite war profiteer, Halliburton, is selectively cutting off soldiers' access to "non-essential email." I can't find any news stories about it, but it's making the blog rounds, including some from soldiers in Iraq. Here's a handy Google search.

The conspiracy theorist and the trusting citizen in me are both shaking their heads at this. It's pretty apparent that they're trying to keep soldiers from finding out what the big picture in Iraq is, and trying to prevent those soldiers from getting any more harmful information back to the United States...

Oh, wait. It might not be true. All of the reports trace back to a blogger named ginmar, and her situation might be unique.

This could prompt an interesting discussion on blogs as news sources. Any comments?

My TV Is Broken

My television is at the repair shop. The screen bounces, making anything I haven't already seen completely unwatchable. I took it in to get it fixed on Saturday, but I have felt the effects of my broken television since early last week. I'm not always very good at entertaining myself. If I'm by myself and I haven't settled on an activity by around 7:00, I get antsy. When I'm antsy, I can't read or work on my paper. I need passive entertainment. I usually throw a movie on and sit happily in the near-dark. This was how I got through the hard times toward the end of grad school, when I had decided that I didn't really want to be there anymore. Coincidentally, that was when I started my movie review site. But that option was tragically taken away by the vagaries of electronics.

I play a lot of darts now. I go to movies when I find convenient showtimes. I bother people on the telephone. I fidget. And I think about how dependent I am on that stupid box for my sanity. If you tell me that I could find a hobby, or go out and get involved, or whatever other good advice you probably have for me, I'll nod in agreement, because you're probably right, but I still won't be content until I get my idiot box back.

I'm a Moron

I had 31 days after my date of hire to fill out my insurance forms. Of course I waited until the last minute. Of course I didn't read the instructions, which said "Use capital letters only." Of course I went back over the stupid forms, trying to make my lowercase chickenscratch letters look like capitals. Of course I rendered the forms unreadable, and I have to go get new forms tomorrow, which is when they're due. Sigh. Some people shouldn't be left in charge of their own lives.

Moore Muzzled

http://news.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=topNews&storyID=5049305

Disney has barred Miramax from distributing Michael Moore's new documentary Fahrenheit 9/11. It criticizes the Bush administration's response to 9/11 and explores ties between the Bush and Bin Laden families.

"Emmanuel said Eisner was concerned the film would endanger tax breaks that Disney receives for its theme parks and other properties in Florida, where President Bush's brother Jeb is governor, the New York Times reported. Disney executives denied that accusation, the paper reported."

Things We Didn't See

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/421014.html

This editorial, from the Israeli newspaper Haaretz, talks about what the US media did not (or, more accurately, were not allowed to) show American viewers. In response to the much-publicized killing and maiming of four American contractors in Falluja, US forces killed some 600 people, including a reported 450 elderly, women, and children. According to Doctors Without Borders, US forces prevented the wounded from receiving medical treatment. These are war crimes, and they will go unpunished because the US reacts only when there are incriminating pictures published worldwide (like the torture of Iraqi prisoners). The US made sure there wouldn't be any such pictures from the campaign of revenge at Falluja.

Cool Jazz Head Shake

Last Friday, Rebecca and I accompanied Brian and his friends to a jazz show at the Hothouse. It was one of the most amazing live performances I have ever seen. I publicly apologize for not inviting Shawn. I forgot. I'm sorry. I'm a jerk.

The acts were Von Freeman and Fred Anderson. Freeman, who is 82, played with Charlie Parker and Sun Ra. He's a born storyteller. The concert was preceded by a Q&A session run by a self-important twit who kept saying "Aaaahh" in an annoying manner and seemed more interested in showing of how much he knew about jazz than in finding out anything interesting. Freeman mostly ignored him, though, instead talking at length about whatever came to mind. When it came time for the concert, he played first. He was great, and his band was pretty good. He played the "usual" style of a series of solos: tenor sax, bass, guitar, drums.

I've never liked drum solos. I discussed this with Brian, and we agreed that they are usually uninteresting. My theory is that the other solos keep with the tempo of the previous solos in the song, so you can see how they fit into the overall scheme. The drummer almost necessarily breaks tempo.

It was nearly midnight when Anderson took the stage. It was his 75th birthday. He is a quiet man, but he lets his saxaphone speak for him. He was absolutely amazing. Rebecca likened him to "a pair of lungs"; this sounds funny, but it looked about right. He bent over his horn, blowing with all the energy in his body, and sometimes it looked like he might collapse. It was like the horn was part of his body. We only stayed for one "song," which went on for a blissful 30 minutes. He played free jazz, instead of Freeman's more song-oriented style. He was accompanied by a fantastic bass player and a drummer who actually played interesting solos.

I don't know much about jazz. I guess I just know what I like when I hear it. I really liked Anderson and his band. Anderson runs the Velvet Lounge here in Chicago. They have a regular Sunday jam session; the one time I went to it, at least two of the performers from this show were there. Anderson was there too, but he wasn't playing. I will have to go back on a night when he is.

The title of this entry refers to the preferred method of showing appreciation during a show: you drop your head a little, close your eyes, purse your lips like you're about to kiss your grandmother, and shake your head back and forth slowly. This was demonstrated by the MC of the show, a critic who is important in Chicago jazz circles (but I can't remember his name). Even he stopped doing the Cool Jazz Head Shake during Freeman's drummer's solos.

Bush Hates Women

...but you already knew that.

http://news.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=topNews&storyID=4977467

The Bush administration has altered or removed information from dozens of government websites relating to women's issues. Government offices addressing the needs of women have been disbanded. Political pressure is being used to block the dissemination of scientific findings. The Justice Department is neglecting to fulfill its duties under the 2000 Violence Against Women Act. Etc.

Register to vote, dear readers.