Pronuncification

For my entire reading life until this very day, I thought that sylph was actually "slyph." I used to encounter it in fantasy novels, and I apparently got it mixed up in my head. I wonder how many times I've said it wrong and had someone think that I'm a moron. I'm glad I actually looked it up today and discovered my mistake before someone else pointed it out to me.

A few months back, I was reading a news article to someone, and I pronounced the word impugn incorrectly, as "im-punge" instead of "im-pyoon." That person pointed it out, and I felt like a big moron.

So here's the part where I solicit my dear readers to embarrass themselves by sharing amusing anecdotes of their own mispronunciations. I promise not to laugh at you, because my glass house is surrounded by plenty of loose stones.

The Goatdog Method

I recently had a method of heating up corn tortillas named after me.

Yes, my life is that boring.

Good News!

I thought I'd do a post full of good news! Except that I couldn't find any.

Iran and North Korea are reacting badly to what our current president believes is "diplomacy." Condoleeza Rice said that the US may need new ways of dealing with North Korea. "She did not elaborate." Did she need to?

Michigan local governments have to stop giving domestic partner benefits, according to the Attorney General's interpretation of the gay-marriage ban Michigan voters passed last year. Is anyone surprised?

The Senate recently voted to open the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve to drilling. In related news, the ice cap on Mount Kilimanjaro in Kenya melted for the first time in 11,000 years. Why is this timing lost on our elected officials?

Paul Wolfowitz, one of the architects of the Iraq war and Bush's invade-all-y'all policies, has been chosen to head the World Bank. The World Bank is bad enough; does it really need him in charge?

And then there's the whole Terry Schiavo mess. I don't even want to get into it. Have a nice day.

101 Things

I read a blog where the blogger did a massive list of interesting trivia about himself: 101 Things about Me. I thought it was a neat idea, so I thought I'd steal it, except that I don't have the energy or the patience to do 101 things at once. Plus, I wouldn't expect you to have that much patience either. So I decided to do a list in small chunks of between five and ten items at a time. Here's the first.

1. My first date was when I was in first grade. I had a crush on this girl named Alison Girard, and my mom convinced me to ask her out to lunch one Saturday with my family. I picked her up at her house and everything (my dad drove). She gave me a card with cartoon bear stickers on the outside of the envelope. After lunch, we went to the public swimming pool for the rest of the afternoon.

2. My first second concert was REO Speedwagon, .38 Special, and Survivor at Val-du-Lakes, an outdoor concert venue near Manistee, Michigan. I went with my friend Dana and one of her friends. I was sort of interested in her, and I think she was interested in me, but nothing ever came of it. At the concert, I saw this burnout guy named Bobby, whom I thought hated me, but he came over to hang out with us, and later he let me take a hit off his joint. Music brings people together.

3. I can make myself cry almost instantly if I think about the death of my cat Wibble.

4. Speaking of crying, in college, I lied my way into extensions on two assignments by summoning up tears and a good story. In both situations, I used my difficult history with my father to my advantage. I told the professors that I hadn't talked to my father for years, and he called out of the blue to tell me that he had a brain tumor that might be inoperable, so I had to ditch class to go spend time with him. This story is entirely true, except that it happened three years earlier.

5. The first album I ever bought was Richard Marx's self-titled album. I bought it from the local Family Dollar, and I borrowed the money from my mother. I realized quite soon how lame this purchase was. But I still sing along when "Don't Mean Nothing" or "Should've Known Better" or "Endless Summer Nights" come on the radio. And I know that you do too.

6. My first car accident happened when I was 17. I was driving down the street, on my way home from work. It was cold, but there was no ice on the road. I noticed that I was drifting toward the curb, and I turned the wheel. Suddenly, I woke up with my head bouncing off the steering wheel. I had hit a car parked on the side of the road, and my seatbelt hadn't locked. When the police arrived, I told them that I must have skidded on some ice, but there was clearly no ice. I sort of blacked out, I guess. I still don't understand what happened. They gave me a ticket for careless driving, but I got it reduced to driving too fast for conditions. The story I always tell people, which has become almost like the truth in my mind, is that I was easing over to the side to let an oncoming car through when my car hit a patch of ice. But there was no other car, aside from the one that I hit.

7. When I was young and we were really poor, I hated wearing clothes from the Salvation Army. There was one pair of shoes that I particularly hated, and I spent one summer picking away at the sole until I could tell my mom that they were "worn out." She knew what I had done, and she was really pissed at me and made me wear them anyway. Now, of course, well over half of my clothes are from resale shops, something that amuses my mother to no end.

Stay tuned for more things.

Gray Hairs

I haven't posted in over a week, so I thought I'd write something, except that I have nothing to write about. I found my first gray hair yesterday! I was so excited. I think I'm going to grow it out to several feet long; perhaps I'll put a little bow on it. I have always gotten gray hairs among my sparse facial hair, but this is the first one atop my head.

Last week we took a crew from the film studio to interview the manager of a downtown comic book store for the comic book documentary. That was fun. I felt like I was actually doing something to contribute, instead of making phone calls and leaving messages that are never returned.

I'm still stuck in my funk over the whole money vs. fulfillment quandary. I need to make money, so I have to have a job, which keeps me from doing the things that make me feel less lost. I'm sure everyone is sick of my whining on this subject.

Radio WREZ

My favorite art historian is going to be on the radio tomorrow morning! She'll be on Chicago Public Radio's "Eight Forty-Eight" show, talking about the exhibition she recently curated. It will air sometime between 9:35 and 11:00 am tomorrow. If you can't catch it live, you will probably be able to hear it archived on their site.

Update: They didn't play the segment. I'll let you know when/if they are planning to reschedule it.

Update update: She's on right now!!!!