24

I've been watching the TV show "24" on DVD recently. Why? I have a lot of free time all of a sudden. I watched season 1 over the winter, and I'm over halfway through with season 2. It is a good show, and the thing that keeps it from being a great show is that it should really be "18," or perhaps "21," not "24." There is an inevitable need for filler, and it usually comes in the form of Special Agent Jack Bauer's (Kiefer Sutherland) daughter Kim (Elisha Cuthbert). She's the Little Bald Cancer Boy of prime time. I wish someone would kill her.

In the first season, she got kidnapped about a dozen times. Every time she was safely in the hands of the authorities, she'd find a way to get into trouble again. They'd always transport her to a "safe place," but in a passenger car guarded by one rent-a-cop, and sure enough, the bad guys would grab her again. An important character dies at the end of the first season, and I wish it had been her.

Now, in season 2, they're really stretching for ways to imperil her. A nuclear bomb is not enough; we need an abusive, murderous father. We need cops who think she's a murderer. We need every male who drives or walks within ten miles of her to turn into a leering sex maniac. But that's not enough either. We also need cougars. Yes, friends, they pulled out the old "menaced by cougars" trick. We've all seen it a thousand times.

Perhaps in season 3, she'll end up tied to a railroad track while a leering European guy with a Rollie Fingers moustache cackles above her and a screaming freight train barrels out of the tunnel. I wonder how fast Kiefer Sutherland can crank one of those handcars?