February 27, 2004
Concerts of Doom
Antisemitism, right-wing cabals, depression about the future, the death of the universe... I think it's time for something frivolous.
What is the most embarrassing concert you've ever attended? For guidance, here's my top four:
4. Kansas, at the Muskegon Summer Celebration, where they rounded up acts that should have retired long ago. They were overweight, they wore spandex, and they played "Dust in the Wind." At least they were still having a good time. The lead singer climbed a stack of amplifiers and ran around in the audience.
3. Starship, featuring Mickey Thomas. Yeah, that means without Grace Slick. Just Mickey Thomas, singing those memorable 80s songs like "We Built This City" and "No Way Out," and taking a crack at the classics. His rendition of "White Rabbit" was particularly cringe-inducing. This concert was also part of the Muskegon Summer Celebration.
2. 38 Special. And REO Speedwagon. And Survivor. They apparently opened every season at Val-du-Lakes, a small outdoor venue near Ludington, MI. I think they were all wearing wigs. I'm sure about the lead singer of REO Speedwagon. This was my first concert, so don't give me a hard time about it.
1. Feel free to give me a hard time about this one. Warrant, Slaughter, and Vince Neil, also at Val-du-Lakes. This one is hard to talk about. I still liked Warrant, you see, even though I knew in my heart that they weren't any good. I had to sit through Slaughter, which was painful. Then Warrant came on, and Jani Lane proceeded to get so drunk that they didn't finish any songs. He would just change his mind halfway through and start in on another one. We didn't stick around for Vince Neil. I'm sure we didn't miss much.
Posted by mike, February 27, 2004 12:37 PMMy first concert was Foreigner. I loved it. Hey, I was young! I also saw 38 Special, America, and Carlene Carter at a USO show back in '91. Hmmm, that's about it. I haven't been to many concerts. I recently saw Siouxsie & the Banshees and they were horrible but that doesn't embarrass me. I was dragged to it by my gothic friends. I was also dragged to a Peter Murphy concert that was so bad it hurt my feelings. I wasn't embarrassed for me but I was embarrassed for Mr. Murphy. Not only did he suck but he showed a film he made years ago before his set. It was hilarious. Too bad it was supposed to be scary and profound. I don't recommend being dragged to events by gothic friends. Unless your like me and enjoy wearing Hawaiian shirts to goth clubs while ordering Pina Coladas. "Hey, where's my umbrella, Dracula?"
Posted by: shawn at February 27, 2004 1:53 PMThat Warrant concert was the worst I'd been to. I am convinced had we stayed that Vince Neil would have been the best part. Seriously. I am glad we left. ; -)
I am not sure I have been to any others I didn't like. Frankly, I have not attended many concerts. So pretty much the few I did were awesome. I guess that George Clinton was probably the worst one I'd been to apart of Warrant, but that was a fun concert and only $15, and someone else paid for me. I also saw Indigo Girls, whom I was not that big on, but they were awesome live. Those were my "worst" experiences.
So, basically, if not for YOU, Mike, I'd never have seen a bad concert before. : -P
Posted by: shane at February 27, 2004 2:11 PMAsia. 1982.
My friend from New Jersey was visiting and it was a choice between that and James Taylor and she had never heard of James Taylor.
I think you made the right decision, but then I hate James Taylor with the abandon of a poet.
Posted by: mike at February 28, 2004 11:41 AMI knew SOMEONE would have to make a comment about James Taylor. Have you ever listened to Asia?
Posted by: rebecca at February 29, 2004 2:19 PMJames Taylor. He's so punk rock.
Posted by: Shawn at February 29, 2004 3:00 PMOne of my favorite quotes of all time regarding James Taylor:
"I want to stand outside his house with a giant hammer and hit him and his children as they come outside."
Or something like that. Good one, Mike! : -P
"I've seen fire, and I've seen rain.
I've sang wimpy songs that all sound the same.
But I always new these songs would bother Shane.
So I keep on singing them again and again."
OK, but:
"When I ride the hounds of hell
Twist my foot, I nearly fell
I was lucky I was alive
One look back, I could have died"
????????
Posted by: rebecca at March 1, 2004 8:45 AMI must admit that I am not that familiar with Asia. So there is no saying what would be worse. That might have been a great night to just go out drinking or to see a movie.
I, for one, highly value my experience at the Warrant concert. Crappy or not, I had fun. We probably watched a movie that night, anyway.
Posted by: shane at March 1, 2004 10:14 AMThe quote was "I want to set his house on fire, and when he and his family come running out, I would hit them with a giant hammer." I now feel bad at including his family. It's not their fault. I would hit only Sweet Baby James. Squash him flat.
I would take just about anyone over James Taylor. It comes from having to listen to his endless insipid songs on ceiling music at the grocery store where I worked nights. His songs rank up on my list of the worst of all time. "Mexico," "Copperline," "Carolina in My Mind," "Shower the People." "Shower thee people you love with love/ show them thee way that you fee-eel." Oh god kill me now. And what about his demolishing, his castrating, of the Drifters' "Up on the Roof"?
It's seldom his lyrics, though. It's his awful, monotonous, energy-sucking delivery.
And in 1982, Asia had only one album out, the self-titled "Asia," which contained the memorable song "Heat of the Moment," and not much else. Were they opening for someone?
Posted by: mike at March 1, 2004 11:06 AMNo, they were headlining. Heat of the Moment? Memorable? OK, it was their one hit. But the stupidity of their lyrics is matched only by the banality of their music, which unfortunately I can't convey in this medium. ;)
But James Taylor? Next thing you'll tell me you hate Wings.
Posted by: rebecca at March 2, 2004 8:48 AMWings? As in Paul McCartney and Wings? Or buffalo wings that you eat? Or the Detroit Red Wings?
I like all three, personally, so long as the buffalo wings are boneless. : -P
Posted by: shane at March 2, 2004 9:10 AMI don't HATE Wings, but I can't say that I like them all that much. They were certainly OK.
Posted by: mike at March 2, 2004 9:37 AM