March 1, 2004
Oscar Night
Oscar night was pretty fun. I went to an Oscar party hosted by my overprepared friend Keisha. She baked Oscar-shaped cookies, made everyone an "Oscar's Greatest Hits" CD, and provided pizza among other delicious food. She also won my Oscar pool for the second year in a row. She missed only five categories. I'll have to copy her ballot next year.
There weren't any surprises this year: Lord of the Rings won everything it was up for; Charlize Theron, Tim Robbins, and Renee Zellweger won; Keisha fretted about everyone having enough to eat; the speeches went on way too long; the ceremony went on way too long.
The only big surprise was during the pre-show extravaganza on E!. What happened to Joan Rivers's face? More accurately, whose face did Joan Rivers steal and graft onto her own skull? She looked like an angry sock puppet. She was frightening. I hope there were no children watching.
Billy Crystal has got to go. It was so nice to have someone else the past two years. I hate his songs, I hate the part where they insert him into nominated films, and I hate the endless bad jokes. How many gay jokes can you make in a three-hour presentation? Plenty, as evidenced by Mr. Crystal. And the part where he shared the stage with Robin Williams was clearly the low point of the evening. Someone needs to muzzle those two.
My suggestion for a host is Chris Rock, after they get him to sign several promises not to swear. He would bring some much-needed life to the proceedings, and his edgy brand of humor is still funny, as opposed to Crystal's, whose jokes stopped being funny in 1985. Sammy Davis Jr. impersonations? Give me a break.
The high point of the ceremony was the duet between Jack Black and Will Ferrell. Hell, let one of them host next year.
Posted by mike, March 1, 2004 3:08 PMMy choice for host: George W. Bush. Can you think of anyone who would be more funny?
My second choice: comedian Lewis Black. Too bad THAT would NEVER happen.
My third choice: Jon Stewart. He's more of a tv personality, but I think he'd do a great job. Besides, he WAS in "The Faculty," "Half Baked," and some other "great" movies.
The coolest would be to get Bush AND Lewis Black. Then let them fight it out in the "cage" when the ceremony got dull.
My last choice: Jay Leno. Please, please, please don't let them ever pick Jay Leno. They did Letterman. It may be only a matter of time. Noo!!
Posted by: shane at March 1, 2004 3:31 PMJon Stewart would be great too. Add him to my list. I liked when David Letterman hosted, but I know they'll never have him back. I think Jay Leno would be lower on my list than Billy Crystal.
Posted by: mike at March 1, 2004 3:37 PMI think Will Ferrell would be perfect. Crystal made me cringe. His humor went out of style in 1956. What the hell is the matter with him? Overall, I thought the show was poorly produced. The only thing I really enjoyed was Jack Black and Will Ferrell & Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller. Bill Murray was pretty funny. The show seemed to have a lot of mistakes and it was completely boring. If they had cut Crystal's stupid ass singing maybe they could have actually shown clips of the documentaries and short films. It is supposed to be a celebration of film, after all. Damn you, Billy Crystal. Damn you to hell.
Posted by: Shawn at March 1, 2004 3:40 PMWhat really bums me out is that I LIKE Billy Crystal. I think he is hilarious and very talented. But when you put him in this sort of venue, he does his worst "Bob Hope" impression and that is about it.
The funny part of me being so critical is that I didn't even watch it. I knew it would suck. ; -)
Posted by: shane at March 1, 2004 3:47 PMIf Jon Stewart was the host I might actually WATCH the Oscars. Well, maybe part of them, anyway...
And off the subject, I think it would be really cool, but will never happen - Dubya as a guest on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Ha ha!
Posted by: angela at March 1, 2004 4:18 PMI wrote to James Berardinelli telling him he's a nutter for being happy with Crystal. He emailed back to say that his dream host would be John Cleese. I can't argue with that.
Posted by: mike at March 2, 2004 9:34 AMIt might be kind of corny, but if they could pair him up with Michael Palin and Terry Jones, it would be even cooler. Or not.
Actually, a pair or trio of hosts, regardless of who they were, might open it up to some new idears. Say you had John Cleese and Chris Rock. (Yeah, right!) You would not be stuck looking at EITHER of them ALL the time, because they could do some stuff separately. But they could also do some things together, and it would be... different.
Just an idear. I am not too stuck on it.
Posted by: espoon82@yahoo.com at March 2, 2004 10:11 AMI also need to apologize for a mistake I made earlier. We couldn't have George Bush on the Oscars after what happened during the Super Bowl. No one is going to take a chance of having a boob on their live show.
Posted by: shane at March 2, 2004 10:13 AMHeh about the boob joke.
The Oscars were boring. (I did love Ferrell/Black and Wilson/Stiller, though. I never miss a chance to feast my eyes and ears upon Owen Wilson).
I thought the best actor/actress clips were, for the most part, poorly chosen. Like the one for Keisha Castle-Hughes (sp). Um, she said about three words in it! The other character had more screen time! And the one for Tim Robbins? And Djimon Hounsou? Huh?
I guess my favorite part of the Oscars is looking at the dresses. But even they were a bit boring. Overall, yawn.
Posted by: Amy at March 2, 2004 10:43 AMI don't know why everyone is complaining about how boring everything was. I really enjoyed Oscar night. It was fantastic. The Detroit Red Wings beat Philadelphia 4-2 in a very good game. Then we watched part of "Lawrence of Arabia" on DVD. Went to bed about 11:30. Good night. ; -)
Posted by: shane at March 2, 2004 11:13 AM