December 8, 2006
Pre-Oscar Awards
I realized that I don't really care about the National Board of Review. (Let me take this opportunity to remind folks that the NBR started out as the New York Board of Motion Picture Censorship; they changed their name, but not their method, as they chopped, cut, and excised "objectionable" material from films. Sure, they were an effort to stave off government censorship, but censorship for a good cause is still censorship.) I honestly don't care about the Los Angeles, New York, Omaha, or Chicago film critics awards either, except as they might affect the biggest prize of all—the Golden Globes. Er, I mean the Oscars.
I don't mean that I'm not keeping track of the awards, mind you. I just mean that I don't intend to spend a lot of time writing about them. I'd much rather read about them at places like Nathaniel's Film Experience Blog and Nick's Flick Picks. I'll obsess vicariously through these two this season.
Posted by mike, December 8, 2006 11:04 AMWhat's to write about anyway? Most of the films this year, except for a few at the end, were big stinking piles of shit.
Posted by: amyf at December 9, 2006 11:58 AMIt certainly has been a year of slim pickings. I think half of my current top ten wouldn't make the list in any of the last four or five years.
Posted by: mike at December 9, 2006 1:29 PMWhat are you guys talking about!? Were you watching the same movies I was? Apparently not. This year ROCKED! Here's my top ten:
10. Snakes on a Plane
YOU GOTTA LOVE MUTHAFUCKING SNAKES ON A PLANE, MUTHAFUCKA OR SAMUEL L. JACKSON WILL KICK YOUR ASS!!!
9. The Covenant
Wow. It is amazing knowing that these guys did their own stunts in this awesome political thriller about love and promises in the United Nations. Politicians could learn a lot from watching this film.
8. Click
Science fiction at its BEST! It almost made me feel like you really could change the world if you only had a magic remote. Or a donkey. A magic donkey that could talk! That would be COOL!!
7. You, Me, and Dupree
This gripping drama about the homeless and mentally ill should vie for an Oscar. Surely Owen Wilson's performance as the socially inept homeless man will get a nod. My only complaint is that Matt Dillon did little to convince me he was really a dude. No way!
6. The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
If I didn't before, I certainly believe in Santa Claus now! And he is coming to KICK YOUR ASS!!
5. Saw III
This movie made me weep with joy. They just do not make enough romances like this anymore. When they got married at the end, it was unbelievable. I was really convinced that it would never happen. It really made me believe in love again.
4. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
How could you not want to go to Tokyo, naked, and rub yourself with butter before rolling around in powdered cocaine after watching this uplifting comedy? My soul needed the boost it got from this victory of the spirit.
3. RV
This documentary-styled movie about disfunctional families made me feel like calling my estranged father and begging him to forgive me for trying to stop him from becoming an alcoholic. I was a fool.
2. Jackass Number Two
Bravo! Encore! Fantastico!! Magnifique! I cannot wait to see the third. Hopefully they all die in it, saving us from prequels that will, of course, not be nearly as good.
1. Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector
Wow. This gripping tale of the Inspector could easily bring down the entire restaurant industry. I'll never eat at a restaurant again, knowing that Larry the Cable Guy may have eaten there. This is a sure-fire best picture winner. No question.
Posted by: shane at December 9, 2006 2:51 PMTo tell the truth, I loved Jackass Number Two. Of course, I'm a jackass.
Sadly, I haven't been able to see anything. I've only seen a couple of movies in the theater in the last six months so I literally have no idea what's going on. Usually, though, by this time there are at least a few movies that everyone is buzzing about. This year? Nothing. I wouldn't be surprised if Scorsese finally gets his award. Of course, Clint will probably take it from him again. If it was anybody else...
Posted by: Shawn at December 9, 2006 3:43 PMYou are allowed to like the Jackass movies. You are just not allowed to think they are good movies. Entertaining? Sure. Everyone loves seeing bozos get hurt. Good? No.
Posted by: shane at December 11, 2006 1:30 PMActually, I think they're ingenious and quite good. I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to think that. As I like to say, profundity is overrated.
Posted by: Shawn at December 12, 2006 6:35 PMNope. You have to change you way of thinking RIGHT NOW!!
Or not. :-P
Posted by: shane at December 18, 2006 2:21 PM