The Other Goatdog

There's another goatdog, and he's a big asshole.

I was googling myself, as I am wont to do—in the privacy of my own home, so don't judge me!—and I decided to look into the other goatdog who shows up rather high in a google search.

He's a regular commentor on the Lawrence (KS) Journal-World's website. We have some things in common: both of us are anti-Bush and anti-war. But there's a difference (at least, I hope there's a difference): he's got an obnoxious one-track mind about it, and he manages to insert it into every conversation.

In a 2004 poll about Lawrence residents' favorite cheeses, after posting a recipe, he said, "Bush is a war criminal and I hope to see him hang." When asked about what's on his 2004 Christmas list, he said, "To see Bush hang for his war crimes."

He's diverse, though: when asked about his tips for beating the heat, he turned to poetry: "You're going to lose your war! / You're greedy christian war! / You're going to lose your war! / Your greasy christian war!" Same went for a poll about what kind of return graduates get from their education investment.

How should we celebrate Earth Day? "Remove the greedy fat christian pigs from the planet." What's worse, potholes or road construction zones? Let's compare Bush to Hitler instead. Will the smoking ban in Lawrence reduce the number of heart attack victims? "Dead Kansans - Boohoo."

To the citizens of Lawrence, Kansas, and to googlers worldwide: I am not that goatdog. I'm a kinder, gentler goatdog.