Universe Not Dying

http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/dark_energy_040220.html

This Space.com article explains how astronomers think that the universe is not in fact in danger of being ripped apart anytime soon. Whew. I was worried. The esteemed doctors at the Space Telescope Science Institute predict that everyone's favorite universe has about 30 billion years left. Since it's only 13.7 billion years old now, it's akin to a 25-year-old human being—and we don't worry much about 25-year-old humans being ripped apart by their own internal forces, although they may feel like it sometimes.

The article explains some interesting things about the universe that I didn't understand when I was being paid to edit astronomy articles: dark energy, dark matter, and cosmological constants. Reports from the White House tell us that President Bush has instructed the CIA and FBI to investigate this "dark energy," which he suspects may have ties to Al Qaeda. "We must be vigilant in our efforts to protect our universe of the worst energy in the world," Bush said.